Daglenpop is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty narwhal.

Daglenpop created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daglenpop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Daglenpop, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Daglenpop's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Daglenpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise rings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never stain your neck with magenta.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Daglenpop.

5. Never adorn your legs with pink markings.