Nelzaknad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthoughtful scorpion.

Nelzaknad created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelzaknad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nelzaknad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Nelzaknad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nelzaknad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear shorts marked with brown.