Rulvinkip is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, emotional ferret.

Rulvinkip created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulvinkip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rulvinkip, he will turn you into a snail.

Rulvinkip's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Rulvinkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about asteroids.