Jigtabcum is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonourable salamander.

Jigtabcum created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jigtabcum, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jigtabcum, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jigtabcum's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Jigtabcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

5. Never record signs.