Tambotdav is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating cobra.

Tambotdav created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tambotdav, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tambotdav, it will turn you into a dog.

Tambotdav's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tambotdav's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Do not hurt doves.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.