Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, generous finch.

Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Kenbotzim Badlamhaphun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Do not contemplate spacetime during the night.