Quatbus is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthinking squid.

Quatbus created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Quatbus, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quatbus, she will turn you into a rat.

Quatbus' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quatbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to rats while wearing shorts.

2. Never eat parsnips on days of mourning.

3. Never gather three dolphins in one place.

4. Worship no other gods but Quatbus.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.