Kemnartbemquat is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awesome donkey.

Kemnartbemquat created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemnartbemquat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemnartbemquat, it will turn you into a frog.

Kemnartbemquat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kemnartbemquat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kemnartbemquat.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.