Pagjaphonwat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, resourceful troll.

Pagjaphonwat created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pagjaphonwat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pagjaphonwat, he will strike you with lightening.

Pagjaphonwat's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Pagjaphonwat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. You must love Pagjaphonwat.

3. Never stain your legs with yellow.

4. Never prepare corn during spring.

5. Retreat if three mice approach from the east.