Mantikstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, strong crow.

Mantikstaf created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mantikstaf, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mantikstaf, it will turn you into a duck.

Mantikstaf's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Mantikstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your arms before prayer.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Mantikstaf in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never hurt frogs.

5. Never skip in the presence of elders.