Tifparkrig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak hippopotamus.

Tifparkrig created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Tifparkrig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tifparkrig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tifparkrig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tifparkrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not wear shorts marked with white.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near gulls while wearing fawn dresses and balancing seven copper spheres on your head.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Erect three platinum sculptures of Tifparkrig on top of important buildings.