Fumkarlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ruthless crab.

Fumkarlarp created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumkarlarp, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumkarlarp, she will have a low opinion of you.

Fumkarlarp's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fumkarlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

3. Never eat oranges on days of mourning.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.