Rilpidvogwan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful porpoise.

Rilpidvogwan created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilpidvogwan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rilpidvogwan, she will not invite you to parties.

Rilpidvogwan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Rilpidvogwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not name children after aardvarks.

4. Ants are not to be trusted.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.