Lipkadkar is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, compassionate hamster.

Lipkadkar created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lipkadkar, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lipkadkar, it will be mildly annoyed.

Lipkadkar's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Lipkadkar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Lipkadkar in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not record signs concerning planets.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never sing in the presence of elders.

5. Lipkadkar must be the most important thing in your life.