Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthoughtful fly.

Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not prepare beans while filled with pride.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if seven sheep approach from the west.

5. Do not record numbers concerning planets.