Japtarprull Wiptarpnul is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, stupid elephant.

Japtarprull Wiptarpnul created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japtarprull Wiptarpnul, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Japtarprull Wiptarpnul, he will be very unhappy.

Japtarprull Wiptarpnul's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Japtarprull Wiptarpnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about spacetime near birds while wearing gray scarves.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.