Nutyattlibkom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthoughtful aardvark.

Nutyattlibkom created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutyattlibkom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nutyattlibkom, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nutyattlibkom's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nutyattlibkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five whales in one place.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Do not keep nine manatees in a large pit.