Jamtifbom is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful jellyfish.

Jamtifbom created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamtifbom, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jamtifbom, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jamtifbom's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Jamtifbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with turquoise.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Hide from pink eagles for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. You must pray to Jamtifbom four times a day.