Tarpbomkop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciful shark.

Tarpbomkop created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbomkop, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tarpbomkop, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tarpbomkop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tarpbomkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tarpbomkop's name in vain.

2. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

3. Never feed bread to nematodes while wearing fawn coats.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing blue skirts.

5. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.