Gam is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair seal.

Gam created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gam, it will ignore you.

Gam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to manatees while wearing tights.

2. Do not kill frogs.

3. Do not keep nine snails in a large pit.

4. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

5. Do not cook food in pots.