Gebbidjen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, idiotic warg.

Gebbidjen created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebbidjen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gebbidjen, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gebbidjen's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gebbidjen's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Never proclaim while facing west.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Never allow seals to sleep beneath your roof.