Flannaknabtap is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless goat.

Flannaknabtap created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flannaknabtap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flannaknabtap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flannaknabtap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Flannaknabtap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Flannaknabtap on top of important buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.