Yarpmapmutkopabtail is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional zebra.

Yarpmapmutkopabtail created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmapmutkopabtail, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarpmapmutkopabtail, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Yarpmapmutkopabtail's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yarpmapmutkopabtail's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.