Stragtalren is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unjust monkey.

Stragtalren created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragtalren, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stragtalren, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Stragtalren's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Stragtalren's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Feed all hungry tapirs.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.