Kinhastif Ontbastjoplibyarmanfub is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, boastful fairy.

Kinhastif Ontbastjoplibyarmanfub created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinhastif Ontbastjoplibyarmanfub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kinhastif Ontbastjoplibyarmanfub, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kinhastif Ontbastjoplibyarmanfub's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kinhastif Ontbastjoplibyarmanfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with joy.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Always maintain purity during holy days.

4. Always help goats.

5. Always help grasshopers in need.