Bondamnell is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, annoying squid.

Bondamnell created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bondamnell, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bondamnell, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Bondamnell's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bondamnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow seals to witness sacred rites.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near squirrels while wearing purple shoes and balancing nine copper spheres on your feet.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always look after injured gulls.

5. Bondamnell loves birds, so they must be respected.