Gumpang is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, merciless deer.

Gumpang created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumpang, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gumpang, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gumpang's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gumpang's Holy Commandments

1. Gumpang must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Run away if seven nematodes approach from the west.

3. Never feed lots of rice to badgers while wearing red rings.

4. Do not consume lemons at dawn.

5. Always help sick gulls.