Figxemstig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tranquil squirrel.

Figxemstig created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figxemstig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Figxemstig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Figxemstig's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Figxemstig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never stain your back with brown.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.