Yimappgup Apprenyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable dryad.

Yimappgup Apprenyarl created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimappgup Apprenyarl, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yimappgup Apprenyarl, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yimappgup Apprenyarl's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Yimappgup Apprenyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silver sculptures of Yimappgup Apprenyarl on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Yimappgup Apprenyarl in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if seven doves approach from the west.

5. Heed all portents.