Venflablam Kadsagfudquimcuntunnadpas is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, humane grasshopper.

Venflablam Kadsagfudquimcuntunnadpas created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Venflablam Kadsagfudquimcuntunnadpas, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Venflablam Kadsagfudquimcuntunnadpas, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Venflablam Kadsagfudquimcuntunnadpas' most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Venflablam Kadsagfudquimcuntunnadpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise coats.

2. Never mention ducks.

3. Venflablam Kadsagfudquimcuntunnadpas loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

4. Run away from pink otters, for they are unholy.

5. Retreat if six rats approach from the west.