Minmobyatt is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, cheerful aardvark.

Minmobyatt created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minmobyatt, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Minmobyatt, she will turn you into a dog.

Minmobyatt's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Minmobyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always share figs with strangers, but never with aardvarks.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Shun those given to vanity.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.