Bonksadpog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, ruthless cobra.

Bonksadpog created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonksadpog, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bonksadpog, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bonksadpog's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bonksadpog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. Always act with purity when addressing children.

3. Always store bananas above ground.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not gather at towers at dusk.