Dossbopven is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, temperamental finch.

Dossbopven created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossbopven, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dossbopven, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dossbopven's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dossbopven's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never eat nuts on fasting days.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.