Ligtalmadwanomtpak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow chicken.

Ligtalmadwanomtpak created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligtalmadwanomtpak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ligtalmadwanomtpak, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ligtalmadwanomtpak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Ligtalmadwanomtpak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Always store turnips above ground.

3. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never hurt tapirs.