Safjigsas is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, generous hedgehog.

Safjigsas created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Safjigsas, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Safjigsas, she will turn you into a plant.

Safjigsas' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Safjigsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Safjigsas loves goats, so they must be respected.

3. Never allow pigs to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never think about dark energy near porpoises while wearing brown shorts and balancing four carbon spheres on your head.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.