Botwattin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unfair eagle.

Botwattin created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botwattin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Botwattin, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Botwattin's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Botwattin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

3. Never touch water while clean.

4. Worship no other gods but Botwattin.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.