Artwotbusflig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-confident gorilla.

Artwotbusflig created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Artwotbusflig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Artwotbusflig, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Artwotbusflig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Artwotbusflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Always act with patience.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.