Langatwab Hubjenmattip Kabpiggad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless wombat.

Langatwab Hubjenmattip Kabpiggad created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Langatwab Hubjenmattip Kabpiggad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Langatwab Hubjenmattip Kabpiggad, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Langatwab Hubjenmattip Kabpiggad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Langatwab Hubjenmattip Kabpiggad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never stain your hands with magenta.

3. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

4. Do not take Langatwab Hubjenmattip Kabpiggad's name in vain.

5. Never speak at dusk.