Govquatwot Tailfobjam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited shrew.

Govquatwot Tailfobjam created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Govquatwot Tailfobjam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Govquatwot Tailfobjam, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Govquatwot Tailfobjam's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Govquatwot Tailfobjam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Govquatwot Tailfobjam loves foxes, so they must be respected.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Put Govquatwot Tailfobjam first in all things.