Stiggemkam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tiresome crow.

Stiggemkam created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stiggemkam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stiggemkam, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Stiggemkam's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Stiggemkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Stiggemkam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing black rings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.