Ditquatlat is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, proud toad.

Ditquatlat created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditquatlat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ditquatlat, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ditquatlat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Ditquatlat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never feed carrots to swans while wearing yellow hats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.