Loopnuttril is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent unicorn.

Loopnuttril created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopnuttril, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Loopnuttril, she will turn you into a snail.

Loopnuttril's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Loopnuttril's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

3. Never cross crossroads at midday.

4. Always remove corsets before touching lead.

5. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.