Bogzedquart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, ruthless seal.

Bogzedquart created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogzedquart, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bogzedquart, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bogzedquart's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bogzedquart's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are not to be trusted.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Never hurt mice.

4. Remain prostrate during prayer.

5. Never mix lentils with water.