Loopontflab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, intelligent cat.

Loopontflab created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Loopontflab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopontflab, she will curse you with boils.

Loopontflab's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Loopontflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near goats while wearing magenta stockings and balancing nine tin spheres on your arms.

5. Never mark doors with mauve.