Hotgovpas is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, ill-tempered parrot.

Hotgovpas created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotgovpas, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hotgovpas, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hotgovpas' most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hotgovpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

3. Never paint your feet indigo.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about archaea.