Betpidlin Fonbophon Flowsidbim is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, calm scorpion.

Betpidlin Fonbophon Flowsidbim created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Betpidlin Fonbophon Flowsidbim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Betpidlin Fonbophon Flowsidbim, she will turn you into a puffin.

Betpidlin Fonbophon Flowsidbim's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Betpidlin Fonbophon Flowsidbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

2. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

3. Always obey Betpidlin Fonbophon Flowsidbim's priests.

4. Pray only in shadows.

5. Do not keep eight tortoises in a large pit.