Mincencut Sisfasmon is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective jackal.

Mincencut Sisfasmon created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Mincencut Sisfasmon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mincencut Sisfasmon, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mincencut Sisfasmon's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Mincencut Sisfasmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Mincencut Sisfasmon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed peas to snakes while wearing shorts.

5. Never jump in holy places.