Fudfarnbet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonourable bird.

Fudfarnbet created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudfarnbet, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fudfarnbet, it will turn you into a slug.

Fudfarnbet's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fudfarnbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with indigo.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Never touch oil while clean.

4. Never approach forests carrying clay.

5. Never think about dark matter near hamsters while wearing magenta shorts and balancing three zinc spheres on your arms.