Hotfembid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart gerbil.

Hotfembid created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Hotfembid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hotfembid, it will turn you into a goat.

Hotfembid's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hotfembid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with birds.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Hide from purple whales for they are unholy.