Bestdisstaphugfudnig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm grasshopper.

Bestdisstaphugfudnig created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Bestdisstaphugfudnig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestdisstaphugfudnig, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bestdisstaphugfudnig's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bestdisstaphugfudnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare onions during spring.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not take Bestdisstaphugfudnig's name in vain.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.